A huge steak and Amarone is a miracle cure for everything.
My throat is sore as hell – I’m very psychosomatic – I have been holding back tears all day so obviously now I’m choking on them. Literally.
I needed comfort food so I bought the biggest steak I could find and a nice bottle of Amarone; it’s about time I give myself a break. And I haven’t been eating all day with all those mixed emotions choking me.
I realize this is breaking my heart. I feel torn between my love for Italy and my want for Denmark, for more civilized behavior and mentality, a bit more order. My love for Italy have nothing to do with logic. I love Italy to pieces even knowing that I cannot live here, cannot endure it anymore. But at the same time the sheer amount of hope, of possibilities that seem to open up to me in Denmark seduces me into believing I can actually live there. Yes, I know things might not be so peachy in Denmark, I know things may have changed, that I see it as the promised land just because I am not living there. But I am truly optimistic. Heck, I am Danish after all, nothing like home and all that.
Yet I am madly in love with Italy.
And I just realized today that this is probably not going to change; this is not going to be so simple as going from A to B. I might have to carry along A while moving to B. And get used to it. Having both in my life and hoping not to be too torn.
And for now I’m off hiding in my giant bed with one last glass of heavenly Amarone and Lost.