I am feeling very lazy these days. Actually I felt lazy for some time now, and I am still waiting for my energy to surprise me; for my need to do stuff, to resurface. But it doesn’t really happen.
I am still not painting.
I am still not photographing a lot, I am still not learning French (again) and my sewing machine is gathering dust under my bed.
I started doing my design-reel but I really am not working a lot on it; I bought books today and feel more like taking them out in the sun, lounge around with cold beverages, eat cake and just sleep a lot. I sleep so very well this last week, and wake up feeling happy and sensual, surrounded by images of nice dreams I had.
But I don’t really sleep a lot, the sun is not warm enough for me (yet), my days slip away through my fingers and I really am enjoying myself.
Same with work.
I want to organize things, make the restaurant even better, translate our menus into English and so on. But I never really get ’round to it. We’re busy enough and I care more about our guests than about things. I spend a lot of time talking to people about wine and food lately. And it pays off. I feel happier working and I get more tips than ever.
But I don’t understand it. It really is not very much like me. – I love all this laid-back-ness (laid-back-dom ?) but I keep a close eye on me, to see what happens.
I have a sneaking little suspicion that has been forming over the last few days.
I think I finally feel *over* the depression I almost slipped into.
Or over this whole thing of coming back to Denmark. While it has been a great adventure, it has been something of a trauma as well. A lot of getting used to. I think I finally feel safe. And hopeful. So finally I can relax totally. And that might be what I am doing. So I let myself.